A Room Full of People

A Room Full of People    

     Concerts are powerful. When a group of people all gather in the same place and sing and dance in unison, something amazing happens, and they begin to share this unseen bond that can hardly be found in other aspects of life. Actually feeling music, and being with people who all share the same appreciation for a song is rather addicting. 

     As a Christian, I like church. I like the atmosphere, the preaching, the community, and the worship. I like the worship a lot. Its hard for me to pay attention, so naturally sitting through a sermon isn’t the easiest thing in the world for me. Worship, however, as an entirely different story. Worship, for me, is when I can cast aside all worry, doubt, questions, pain, heartache, confusion, and sadness, and experience a joy that I deem impossible to duplicate. 

     This is why I drive. This is why I drive two hours to Knoxville for one and a half hours of worship. United Pursuit on Tuesday nights has changed the way I approach and view worship. In most churches during the worship time, about half the congregation is engaged, and the other half is disinterested and/or asleep. While it is possible to block out those around myself and engage in my own time of worship, it isn’t easy. This place that I have found in Knoxville is what I honestly imagine heaven to be like. Not physically, I sure hope heaven isn’t an old warehouse, but emotionally, communally, and spiritually. There are very very few things greater than being packed into a small room with a hundred or so other people, and everyone engaged in singing to God. To be in a place where no one is waiting till its over, no one wants to be somewhere else, everyone wants to be there, and everyone is loving God in song with all they are. I cannot see even a non-believer coming in on a Tuesday night and not being moved by the experience.   

     I am a realist. I say all that, and then think to myself, “its just a psychological event that would occur similarly whether the music be christian worship music or not.” I’m aware this could be the case. However, I’ve been in those other scenarios. Yes, they are impactful and genuine, but there’s just something missing. Love is missing. The love of the people around me for this great God we are all there for, and the love of God that is so evident at times that tears begin to find their way down my cheek without my noticing. This time becomes one that I can take all the burdens of life, and throw them down at the feet of Jesus and wrap myself in his grace and mercy. 

     I am a terrible christian. I long to one day be the example of Christ that I am called to be. It is a journey that I find myself on everyday, taking one step at a time. These times of worship are times that I can come together with others in a smilier situation to my own and realize our frailty and failures and find joy and comfort in knowing that however low we go, and however far we fall, there will always be a God who loves us despite of our mess and perpetual failures. 

     I don’t know how long I will continue to come to these nights of worship. It could be a long time, or just a few more, I can’t know for sure. What I can know though, is that few things beat enjoying a beautiful East Tennessee day in a downtown alley of Knoxville covered with street art (actual paintings, not graffiti), and enjoying a fancy little latte. I still have 2 hours before service starts, but I just could not let this perfect opportunity to through some thoughts on a screen, go to waste. 

     Whether this is the first post you’ve read of mine, or you’ve somehow been willing to read everything I’ve posted to far, thank you, and I’m sorry. Thank you for reading it. This blog was less about people reading, and more about just me getting thoughts out of my head and hoping at least one person can relate. Also, I’m sorry. I’m sorry if anything I say doesn’t make sense or doesn’t flow well. I suffer from this predicament of having 10,000 pages of thoughts in my head, but the typing speed and patience of a two year old. I’m trying, so give me a break.