And so this is Christmas for weak and for strong, the rich and the poor ones, the road is so long.

And so this is Christmas for weak and for strong,

The rich and the poor ones, the road is so long.

So this is Christmas…what have you done?

Another Christmas is upon us. Another Santa in the mall. Another Black Friday barrage. Another Christmas

Eve shopping rush for me and fellow procrastinators. Another season of trying to convince people I don’t hate the holidays.

This is the first Christmas for me since my “deconstruction.” In case I poorly explained it before, I have spent the last 6 months-a year “deconstructing” my faith. I realized that what someone believes, or doesn’t believe, impacts every part of their existence from the cognitive awareness of who they are, until their last day on Earth. Realizing this, I set out to study, contemplate, and discover what I believed, for myself. I made a deal with myself to be open to new ideas and ways of thinking, while not losing myself in the act of searching, if that even makes sense…

Anyways, Christmas.

I have never been one to do a big Christmas, like some people do. My family and I do gifts and such, but because of the literal geographic location of my extended family, my Christmas is usually a small affair.

Each season is the same. Jesus is the reason for the season. People hate nativity scenes more and more. Keep “Christ” in Christmas.

Because of my deconstruction, I made it a point to look at the Christmas story, and really try to put myself there in the story. I wanted to understand the story in the way God intended me to understand.

The Christmas story is far from the cute Children’s play put on every year at church.

Yeah, plays serve as reminders, and they’re great for a basic outline of why we celebrate Christmas, but if you actually look at the text, Christmas is ridiculous. Not ridiculous in a negative way, but in an incredibly beautiful and amazing way.

Jesus was born through immaculate conception to a girl between the age of 10 and 14.

What?

Yeah... We often admit that Mary was young, but just think about this for a second. A 14-year-old girl is engaged to be married to a man who, depending on which school of thought you believe in, is either an equally very young man, or a much much older man.

So now we have a young teen girl pregnant by her fiancé, which has had no sexual relations with her yet.

A young girl, pregnant with not her fiancé/husbands baby.

Shortly after Jesus’ birth, King Herod issued a decree that all boys under the age of 2 be killed. So we go from a miraculously impregnated teenage girl, to essentially an infant holocaust.

This story, even taken out of its Biblical context, is historic. Secular historians have no problem accepting Jesus existed (although the method of his birth is disputed), and His birth is even such an important event in history and religion that it is even talked about in the Koran (Koran 3:43-60).

I know I’ve seemingly butchered whatever coherent thoughts I had about all this (I’m writing this at 2AM, and I’m tired), but what I essentially want to point out is that, to make Christmas about nativity scenes, and keeping “Christ” in the name, is to minimalize the impact of the event we celebrate.

We celebrate the beginning of the life of a God/Man that was part God, part man, full revolutionary. A man who went TO the oppressed, TO the poor, TO the prostitutes, TO the orphan, TO the leper, TO the sinner, TO the lost. While I don’t have a problem with our Christmas traditions, I can’t help but look at the Christmas season and wonder what God thinks about it. He sees His children argue over whether or not there was a literal virgin birth. He sees us wage a war on the “war on Christmas.” He sees us spending troves of time and money on things. He sees us throw the homeless guy a few bucks because its Christmas, and the “time for giving.” The other 11 months are for ignoring those in need, but we feel bad for ignoring the needs of others around the holidays.

I like Christmas. As messed up as we all are often times, its nice to see people be decent humans for a few weeks in the year. I just wish the Christmas spirit lasted all year round. Not the trees, gifts, egg nog (no one likes egg nog in the summer), and other little things we do, but the spirit of people at least a decent person. After Christmas is over, we too often go back to our self-indulgent ways. Me me me. What can I do for me? How can I get back the money I spent on things for others?

What if in July, we give someone a gift because we just love them?

How about we give the homeless guy some money or a meal in April. His hunger is the same then as it is now.

In my terrible way of writing and trying to fit 5,000,000 pages worth of thoughts into a few lines, I’m basically just trying to say, look at Christmas differently, and deeply. Dig down under the surface of seasonal coffee and mall santas. Dig down under the surface of being “Christian-like” for a few weeks.

If you’re still reading this, I applaud you, and apologize. Thank you for spending a few minutes to read what I semi-consciously typed out while half asleep at the Yellow Deli at 2AM. I promise the next post will be much better.

Also, if I’ve managed to trick you into continuing to read, I want to also add that I’d like to have things to talk about. Yes, I started this as a method of getting thought out, not worrying about people reading or not, but I’ve noticed that as I do these, the hardest part is narrowing a thought down. For every post, I’ve deleted 10 prior drafts. I have a hard time centering my thoughts on a particular subject. With that being said, I’d absolutely love to be given topics or questions. The best way to do that is to message me on Facebook. I absolutely love talking about this kind of stuff in an honest, safe, and open way, but people looking to engage in similar style discussion seem to be rare.

NG

Father, forgive us/them, for we/they know not what we/they do.

Let me begin by saying that the attacks in Paris were horrific. To go into an urban nightlife setting, blend in for a while, and then detonate yourself killing everyone around you evil at its core. Regardless of a claim of a religious or political war, killing innocents is evil.

France is a country that has had more than its share of atrocities in its history, and each time is has come back better and stronger than before. This also brought back into light the power of ISIS and the realization that they are a legitimate threat not only to those around them, but anyone, anywhere in the world. If they can kill hundreds in Paris, they can do it in America.

Sadly, however, this is neither the first nor the last terrible tragedy carried out by terrorists to rock the globe. As is always the case, the nations around the world hone in on the attacks and offer prayers, condolences, and aid in exacting revenge. Each time something terrible like this occurs, it becomes an unfortunate, yet real opportunity to America and Christians to set a good example to the rest of the world.

We have failed again.

Following the news that ISIS was behind the attacks, I knew what was coming. Everyone would undoubtedly focus their attention not just on ISIS, but on Muslims and Islam.

We experience something like what happened in Paris, and we are quick to react with disgust and support. While these reactions are healthy and necessary, we too often become examples of hypocrisy. Again, as I have mentioned before in earlier posts, I am the worst person to be talking about hypocrisy, but I just can’t keep quiet.

In less than 3 days, we have all changed our Facebook profile pictures, we’ve reiterated our hatred for Islam and Muslims (we may not directly say ‘I hate Muslims’, but our actions make the point clear”, and we’re all ready to kick out the Muslims and make America great again, in the name of God.

How sad.

How sad is the whole situation.

While I, by no means, support Islam, I simply cannot forget that Muslims are people. I feel like when things like this happen, we are so sure that these people are the epitome of evil, and therefore God hates them, which we use to justify our hatred for them. Instead of calling for the refusal of refugees, and for the heads of the terrorists, shouldn’t we be praying for them and showing them the love of Christ? I mean…that’s what the Bible says, so why do we assume there’s an “exemption clause” in the Bible for terrorists who blow themselves up among the innocent? God loves an ISIS terrorist the EXACT SAME AMOUNT as he loves my favorite preacher and your favorite worship group. His love covers all and everything, except the terrorists, apparently…

Now while I realize this may come off to many people I know as a defense of Islam and terrorist, don’t worry, its not. It’s a defense of the love of God that I’ve personally experienced. I live in an area of the world that hates Muslims, and pretty much anything not evangelical Christianity, which is sad. When events happen like in Paris, I cannot help but feel my heart break not only for those who died, but those who killed. No, this isn’t a changed perspective after the fact either, this is honestly what I feel when I hear of things like this. My mind goes from the second they detonate their suicide vests, backwards. I rewind and wonder what they were thinking the morning of, day before, week prior, and years leading up to their death. I cannot fathom the kinds of horror and hell they must have been exposed to that somehow persuaded them that blowing themselves up in a crowd was the best possible way to use their life.

I look around me and see people throwing up their Jesus shields. “I’m a Christian, so I’m against Muslims, and they’re my enemy since they do not believe the same as me and people murder in the name of their religion.” The same day of the Paris attacks, 2 ISIS suicide bombers blew themselves up in Iraq and killed nearly as many people as the terrorist in Paris did. THE SAME DAY. Where was that news? Where were those prayers and thoughts? Who changed their Facebook pictures for those people? Somehow Parisian lives are different than Iraqi lives. Somehow, woman and children being slaughtered in the Middle East on a daily basis is barely news-ticker worthy. We hear of those things and think, “well, that’s just what they do,” so we are unaffected. Tens of thousands of butchered, burned, raped, and enslaved in Africa EACH DAY, yet that is just normal to us.

As Christians, our offenses are misplaced. We are offended and moved by an attack on hundreds in Paris, but indifferent when hearing of attacks on thousands on a daily basis in other parts of the world. We’ll voice more opinions over Starbucks’ “war on Christmas” than we ever will about the innocent dying.

I once heard a story of a speaker at a Christian college that will forever change the way I view events like this. The story goes…

            A speaker was once invited to speak at a Christian college. He knew that Christian college students attended chapel services so regularly that all the speakers and sermons blended together, and they were seemingly numb to the speakers’ efforts to “shock them” into paying attention. Knowing this, he began his talk by laying out some facts about starvation and poverty. “Every hour, 30,000 people die from fixable food-related problems. So in the 30 minutes that I will speak, 15,000 people will die, most of whom will have never heard of Jesus Christ.” The room was silent, maybe a random sound of attentiveness. “15,000 people will die without hearing of Christ’s love for them, and none of you give a shit.” Gasps. More Gasps. The President of the college and other professors don’t know whether they should interrupt him and escort him out, or let him continue and notify him afterwards that he is never invited back. People are definitely paying attention now. “See, that’s our problem” the speaker says, “we barely move a thought towards the news of people dying of starvation, but I utter a single word of profanity, and we are up in arms ready to fight.”

This is where I find myself. I find myself being the speaker in the situation. I was once a student in the story though. Sticking to my “I’m saved, my family is saved, let me hurry and die and go to heaven before I slip up and sin.”

We cannot be that way though. Its anti-Bible. Christianity is a movement of the realization that we are nothing, God is everything, and that despite our nothingness, He loves us with His everythingness. Being angry and upset at terrorists is natural and ok, but to remain that way is to disallow the grace of God that saved us, to save others that may not be like us.

Again, I often ramble and have a hard time condensing novels of though into a few pages, but I hope this makes sense. In my “Jesus-high” moments where I feel His love more real than anything, I cannot help but to be pulled back into a realization that more people have never experienced this feeling than those who have.

Yes, we should be careful who we let into this country, but to reject all refugees seems very unbiblical to me. I cannot picture a Jesus living among us today agreeing to refuse those in need. Could bad people hide among the good? Of course, but that’s a chance we are called by Christ to take. We should jump at the chance to help those in need. While I may disagree politically with allowing entire countries-worth of people into ours, when I look on the grace and love God has shown for me, I am left with no choice. While hanging from a cross, half dead, with nails in His hands and feet, and a sword shoved into His side shortly after receiving the literal most amount of lashings possible before death, Jesus didn’t pray just for those He loved and who agreed with His ideas. He prayed for the very soldier shoving the sword into His side.

We say be follow Christ, but we only follow the things we like. If these men can be radical for their faith (at least they think its their faith) and kills people, are we not then supposed to be radical for ours and love. They kill without thought, therefore, Jesus calls us to love without thought. We go to church and feel warm and fuzzy inside when we say we hate the sin and not the sinner, but when we see the sinner sinning by murdering innocent people, we suddenly don’t think that applies to them.

I have to be better. We have to be better. The majority of Muslims are like us, non-violent and tolerant of people. So, if they see the “bad apples” in their religion making a bad name for them, and Christians responding with love, then their reaction will be one undoubtedly of curiosity as to who the God is that Christians serve.

We gathered up our God and we gathered up our guns...

We gathered up our God and we gathered up our guns...

Preface: I am not an expert in any of this. This is partially an opinion piece, so                      feel free to talk to me about any disagreements or corrections. I                                welcome dialogue, but everything must remain respectful.

Its called Dominion Theology. Most Christians have probably never heard the term, but a scary majority of American Christians whole-heartedly believe in it.

Stealing from Wikipedia-

            Dominion Theology is a theocratic ideology that seeks to implement a nation governed by conservative Christians ruling over the rest of society based on their understanding of biblical law.

Go into most churches today, and if there are any flags at all, there are undoubtedly 2: A Christian flag, and an American flag. Typically, they opposite each other on stage. They also opposite the sides of most American Christians’ hearts, sadly. Now don’t get me wrong, I love America and I’m proud to be a Christian, but I’ve noticed the terrifying trend of the two merging to become synonymous.

We Christians like to tout how America is a “Christian nation”, and how our founders were God-fearing men. While I am sure some were, most of our founding fathers were religious…not necessarily Christian. Many accepted the idea of a God, but rejected the specific Jesus Christ as savior narrative. You don’t believe me? Google the term “Jefferson Bible”, and don’t continue reading until you have looked it up and see what it is.

Still with me? Do you have a better understanding of our founding now? I’m not proud of it. It is actually kind of disgusting how he just kept parts he liked and discarded parts he didn’t (Although do we not do the same thing?). Since the beginning of this country, Christians have enjoyed a privilege that people of different faiths have not. We grew up on the grounds of this being “God’s chosen country”, and how we have to “get back to our roots as a Christian nation.” Gay marriage is legal, so suddenly our country is “less Christian” than generations past…you know…when we enslaved people. Starbucks didn’t put Christmas themed things on their cups: war on Christians.

American Christians are facing an phenomenon that we are unaccustomed to: erosion of privilege.

How dare we complain about our country. Things may be legal and happening that we disagree with, and we may not be able to put big Ten Commandments displays at the courthouses anymore, but until we are being killed for our faith like so many people in the world are, then we have absolutely no right. We are not “God’s country.” We never were. Israel is God’s country, if he even has a country. God does not have chosen countries, he has chosen people. His chosen people are those who have embraced His mercy and grace and have recognized His love in our lives.

We should thank God for the privilege that, as Christians, we enjoyed for so long. We should also thank His for allowing us to be uncomfortable. The most dangerous thing for Christians in America is not gay marriage, Hillary Clinton, illegal immigrants, or Barak Obama. The most dangerous thing is comfort. We are nice and cozy in our Christian nation, to the point that we pay not a single thought to the plight of true Christians around the world. Christians being literally crucified, burned, beheaded, and shot for their faith. Imagine a persecuted Brother or Sister coming to America and seeing our uproar over a Starbucks cup. They would have more pity for our white, rich, comfy, evangelical, Sunday morning service attending souls that we could ever fathom on their behalf.

Forgive us, oh God.

Forgive us for bypassing the lost as we spend all our energy supporting a Kentucky clerk who won’t do her job. Forgive us as we fly our American flags high while our Bibles are lost. Forgive us for spending three hours talking about college football and not even an attosecond praying for the truly persecuted. We are so consumed with politics, our church denomination, arguing doctrines we don’t understand, and our white picket fence lives, that we completely lose sight of the call of Christ to go out and make disciples.

Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

                                                                                                –Matthew 28:19

Now don’t get me wrong. I am not putting myself up on a tower shouting down to the wrongdoers. I am the chief wrongdoer. As I go through life chasing after God’s heart, I make more mistakes in a day than most do in a lifetime. I just cannot go day-to-day in this ultra-patriotic, “Jesus for president” society without at least pointing out things I feel can we changed in order to better fit the call of Christ.

A Room Full of People

A Room Full of People    

     Concerts are powerful. When a group of people all gather in the same place and sing and dance in unison, something amazing happens, and they begin to share this unseen bond that can hardly be found in other aspects of life. Actually feeling music, and being with people who all share the same appreciation for a song is rather addicting. 

     As a Christian, I like church. I like the atmosphere, the preaching, the community, and the worship. I like the worship a lot. Its hard for me to pay attention, so naturally sitting through a sermon isn’t the easiest thing in the world for me. Worship, however, as an entirely different story. Worship, for me, is when I can cast aside all worry, doubt, questions, pain, heartache, confusion, and sadness, and experience a joy that I deem impossible to duplicate. 

     This is why I drive. This is why I drive two hours to Knoxville for one and a half hours of worship. United Pursuit on Tuesday nights has changed the way I approach and view worship. In most churches during the worship time, about half the congregation is engaged, and the other half is disinterested and/or asleep. While it is possible to block out those around myself and engage in my own time of worship, it isn’t easy. This place that I have found in Knoxville is what I honestly imagine heaven to be like. Not physically, I sure hope heaven isn’t an old warehouse, but emotionally, communally, and spiritually. There are very very few things greater than being packed into a small room with a hundred or so other people, and everyone engaged in singing to God. To be in a place where no one is waiting till its over, no one wants to be somewhere else, everyone wants to be there, and everyone is loving God in song with all they are. I cannot see even a non-believer coming in on a Tuesday night and not being moved by the experience.   

     I am a realist. I say all that, and then think to myself, “its just a psychological event that would occur similarly whether the music be christian worship music or not.” I’m aware this could be the case. However, I’ve been in those other scenarios. Yes, they are impactful and genuine, but there’s just something missing. Love is missing. The love of the people around me for this great God we are all there for, and the love of God that is so evident at times that tears begin to find their way down my cheek without my noticing. This time becomes one that I can take all the burdens of life, and throw them down at the feet of Jesus and wrap myself in his grace and mercy. 

     I am a terrible christian. I long to one day be the example of Christ that I am called to be. It is a journey that I find myself on everyday, taking one step at a time. These times of worship are times that I can come together with others in a smilier situation to my own and realize our frailty and failures and find joy and comfort in knowing that however low we go, and however far we fall, there will always be a God who loves us despite of our mess and perpetual failures. 

     I don’t know how long I will continue to come to these nights of worship. It could be a long time, or just a few more, I can’t know for sure. What I can know though, is that few things beat enjoying a beautiful East Tennessee day in a downtown alley of Knoxville covered with street art (actual paintings, not graffiti), and enjoying a fancy little latte. I still have 2 hours before service starts, but I just could not let this perfect opportunity to through some thoughts on a screen, go to waste. 

     Whether this is the first post you’ve read of mine, or you’ve somehow been willing to read everything I’ve posted to far, thank you, and I’m sorry. Thank you for reading it. This blog was less about people reading, and more about just me getting thoughts out of my head and hoping at least one person can relate. Also, I’m sorry. I’m sorry if anything I say doesn’t make sense or doesn’t flow well. I suffer from this predicament of having 10,000 pages of thoughts in my head, but the typing speed and patience of a two year old. I’m trying, so give me a break. 

Vapor

          Few things impact me significantly. I’m the kind of person that needs proof, reruns, repeats, and explanations. I say that, because I found a video/meditation a couple of years ago that set into motion a series of events, questions, and explorations into my own faith that would forever change the way I view life, and my walk with Christ.

          First of all, life is beautiful…

                                               

                                    “Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every ‘superstar,’ every ‘supreme leader,’ every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.”

                                                                                                                              -Carl Sagan

            When I sit down with myself and really ponder and contemplate my place in the world, and the world’s place in the universe, I am humbled to the point where words become inadequate when trying to convey how I feel. I am nothing. I am dust. I am a vapor.

            Life is a vapor. My life is a vapor, among other vapors, among even more vapors, all forming a single drop, swallowed by a sea of grace and forgiveness. I am so guilty of living my life in a way that puts myself first. What makes me happy? How can that benefit me? What can they do for me? We are so consumed with trying to make ourselves the best little idea of what we think it means to be successful, that we fail to take time to appreciate this beautiful life that we have all been given.

            We worry SO MUCH. When is that paper due? Did I study enough? Will I get the job? Does she like me? Will she say yes? What do they think of me? Do I look bad? When is the new one coming out? Why do these things keep happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? While these are not bad questions in and of themselves, they become consuming. The stresses that accompany each question piles onto our souls until we just cannot take anymore and break down. We establish goals for ourselves, and then block out everything not directly connected to those goals. While we may indeed be working toward something that is good, the process by which we work to achieve that goal is detrimental to ourselves more times that not.

           

            We physically, emotionally, and spiritually cannot sustain long levels of worrying. We must take a break. We must take a break, a breath, and a look at the world around us. Yes, that thing that you have to do may be important, but it is simply a single thing in a sea of other things that we worry about. Accomplishment may bring temporary happiness and a sense of accomplishment, but then its just back into the cycle we go. We go back to worrying.

            My first few semesters at Lee were easily some of the most stressful months of my life. Albeit, I brought much of that stress upon myself in the form of relationships and people that I knew deep down were unhealthy and unsatisfying, the stress and pain I felt was still very real and very hurtful. I discovered something, however, that I only then realized I had previously flirted with in my previous days working at the stress capital that is Wal-Mart. I learned to pause. Whatever I had going on, whether it be a test, homework, job, relationship, event, or anything else, I learned to pause and reflect. Reflecting, for me, was not meditation or prayer in the stereotypical sense, but it was me taking the time to stop and gaze in wonder at the world around me that God had given me to enjoy. Beginning at my time at Wal-Mart, I would go up to a nearby mountain in the morning, find a good sport clear of trees, and watch the sunrise. I did not sit there on my phone and just waiting until the sky was pretty in order to take a picture, I would look up the times of the literal sunrise, and fix my gaze on the horizon and watch the sun actually break the edge of the horizon and warm the earth with its light. The first time I saw that, I could not help but be in sheer awe of the God who hung that fiery ball on a string in the cosmos. It was breath taking.

           

            I would take that experience and repeat it in many forms. I would go on spontaneous road trips to places I had never been. I would pick up hitchhikers and listen to their stories. I would sit on the banks of a rushing Ocoee River. I would hike up mountain tops to get a God-view of the world I lived in. I would look at mountain ranges and hills and imagine God creating them like a child creates things in the sand by running their fingers around creating little ridges and mountain ranges. Those moments answered a question I had unknowingly been wrestling with for years: “Is God real? And if so, how can it be proved.”

                 

                  My point is, we need to really think about what things in our life warrant the amount of worrying we do over them. The health of loved ones? Yeah, that might be something we can worry about. Losing our job? For a time, yes, we can worry about that. We must remember, though, that our life is a vapor. Atheist, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, we’re all going to die. We can all agree that life is short and that we should live every day to the fullest. So while we plaster our social media profiles with quotes about making the most of every moment, and tattooing Carpe Diem onto our bodies, we rarely live in the way we were designed. We were not designed to focus on one thing our whole life, achieve it, then die and hope our kids will do better than use. We were designed to live a full and abundant life in Christ, and to do whatever it takes to make sure those around us experience the same love and grace that we, as Christians, claim to be experiencing for ourselves.

            "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

                                    -Matthew 11:28

                 

                  Jesus told us to come to him in our time of worry and stress. If Jesus tells you to do something, it sort of sounds like a commandment, right? So if Jesus commands us to come to him in our time of worry, shouldn’t we be sprinting to him? Worry and stress are inevitable, but our response should be Biblical. Although this idea can be abused and used to justify been unfaithful to obligations, we should do more to pause in our busy life and reflect. Reflecting may not be prayer for some people, it may not be meditation, or road road trips. Beneficial reflection is unique to each person, but we should all take time to open our eyes and look around us at this big and amazing world we have been given. The sky, the grass, the city, the country, the music, the food, the people, their stories, its all part of life, and arguably more important and beneficial than whatever we busy ourselves with on a day to day basis.

            Take a break. Take a breath. Open your eyes. Look around. Life passes us by at speeds we do not comprehend until we are on death’s door and realize it when its too late to do anything about it.

                       

This is going to be fun…

I started this blog with the intent of using it as a platform to get a lot of things out of my head, and onto paper. I ran into a problem however. Almost daily I find myself thinking about things to write, and what to say, and how to word things. I couldn’t decide…

I find myself in a place where I just seem to have a constant, subtle frustration in life. Nothing is directly causing it, or even easing it, it just seems as if I have a little version of myself on my shoulder constantly screaming “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” But not loud, rather in a quiet, pestering sort of way. It is the opposite of fun. 

I don’t really have a title for this post, but I suppose if I absolutely had to have one, it would be something pertaining to entitlement. A societal entitlement, a religious entitlement, a personal entitlement, and a general sense of entitlement that seems to be far too common in America. 

Not that anyone ever wanting it, but a new Walmart Fresh Market is opening here in town. Facebook apparently tracks my activity, knows where I live, and plastered an ad for the grand opening on my news feed. (This is my punishment for not deleting my Facebook account). I clicked on the ad, for some reason, and the very first common was both saddening, and unsurprising. 

“Yall gonna have any free giveaways?”

Of course that would be the first comment..

“What can I get for free?” “What can people give ME?” “What can someone do for ME?” “How LITTLE do I have to do any sort of labor in order to just survive?”

I feel like more people every day wake up in the morning, ask themselves these questions, and unfortunately find a satisfactory answer to all of them.

It isn’t just people commenting on a Walmart ad though, its all over our society. People go through school and learn a rough summary of the articles our country was founded on. All they come away understanding is that we were born with rights that we are entitled to, and no one should be allowed to take them away. God forbid someone try to take away those rights, we are seemingly allowed to use any force necessary in order to re-obtain those rights. If we don’t have everything the way we like, we give ourselves the RIGHT to be offended. 

Everyone’s gettin’ offended up in here!

“Oh, you’re gay? Well that offends me and you need to change.”

“Oh, you’re not 100% in total agreement with me being gay? Well you’re hateful, uneducated, and not truly Christian because you don’t fully support everyone else’s choices.”

“You don’t think I should be able to easily obtain any kind of gun I want?! You ISIS loving, Obama worshipping hippie!”

“Wait, you want guns for protection, hunting, and simply because it is a right afforded to you in the Constitution?! You’re just another backwoods, uneducated, Obama hating redneck!”

Christians use the Bible to bash non-believers, and non-believers use the Bible to bash Christians. 

I feel like I’m living in a country where I’m not allowed to believe what I believe. I feel as if I have to be either totally on one side, or on the complete opposite side. I have to believe that having a beer will send me to hell, or that questioning my faith is a sign that I just do not truly believe in the Bible as I say I do. 

If you love God, you must also love guns, freedom, and non-muslims. 

If you do not believe in God, you must be pro-choice, voting for Hillary, and only watch CNN. 

I am stuck in the middle…

In a time when it seems like everyone seems to be entitled to everything, offended by everything them don’t agree with, and quick to slam anyone who thinks that their being offended is unjustified and slightly childish, here I am, wondering what the heck is going on.

I am lazy. I get offended. I feel entitled. I am messed up.

I am the last person to be pointing fingers at the faults of anyone, and that is not what I’m doing. I am just wondering when common sense and mutual respect for one another died off. 

Christians hate muslims, gays hate people who don’t agree with them, whites are hating blacks (again), pro-choice hates pro-life, Republicans hate Democrats, gun owners hate gun opposers, non-voters hate whoever is in office, most people hate cops, and everyone still hates the dentist who killed a lion that no once cared about before. 

It’s ridiculous. If you don’t choose a side, you’re cast aside as someone who overthinks (probably true), and doesn’t really know what they believe. 

I am a terrible Christian. I don’t set a good example, and I am what’s shown beside “hypocrite” in the dictionary. I am screwed up. 

But I’m trying. 

I read the story of Jesus (for myself, growing up in church doesn’t count as reading the Bible unless you’ve actually opened it up yourself), and all I see is someone beaming with love and grace. Jesus did not hate the government or its leaders. In fact, the only time He ever mentioned the government was when He told His followers to “render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s” in Luke 20:25. Jesus did not say that the government is to blame for our discomforts. We equate America with God and God to America. They become the same thing to us after a while, which is a colossus insult to God, and a forgetting that although this country was loosely based on Christian principles (I say loosely because you should lookup ‘Thomas Jefferson Bible’, and then tell me how Biblical that is), it is a country of religious freedom for all. We seem to be completely fine with spending all our time telling everyone else how wrong they are, while we eventually forget what we’re arguing about. Most Christians just like to argue. As I said before, everyone likes being offended, and Christians are no exception. 

We forget that Jesus went out of His way to spend time with a tax collector (the IRS), a woman at a well (those who messed up and didn’t abstain from sex before marriage), a poor man (our present day poor), and many more people that are cast to the pits of societal respect. 

If we don’t like something that happened in our Christian gatherings (church, small groups, college groups, etc), then we just leave. We feel like its ok for us to just leave and find something we like instead of sticking out a storm in our life and seeing things turn out good in the end. Jesus walked into a temple meant for people to worship His Father God, and did he leave? No! He stayed, drove out the false prophets, and began proclaiming the truth every day after that! How crazy is that?!? Now don’t get me wrong, if unbiblical things are being taught, it needs to be addressed, and the if it cannot be fixed, leaving is acceptable. Honestly though, very seldom does that happen. 

Can we just respect each other? Christian or not, can we just live together with common sense? I am allowed to disagree with you, and you’re allowed to disagree with me. I’ll show you why I think this, and you show me why you think that. If neither of us changes the others’ mind, at least we’ll now have a better understanding of why we disagree, and won’t do so solely because everyone else does or because its the new thing to do. 

I’m not giving up hope. This isn’t me tossing my hands up saying “Forget it, I’m out”, and walking away. This is me stepping back and saying “wait a second… something doesn’t seem right. Surely there is a better way of going about this.”

Now I also do believe that Biblical truth will win in the end, but that’s BIBLICAL truth, not traditional truth, religious truth, societal truth, personal truth, or any kind of truth. Not everyone can be right about everything, but we also can’t say someone is wrong simply because we don’t agree. 

Everyone has a blog these days. The posh soccer mom has one about her favorite Pinterest ideas and Etsy projects, and I’m sure there is a homeless fellow somewhere out there who has a blog about his homelessness. Everyone has a blog. Now I have a blog. I would be shocked if many people actually take the time to read anything I say, but who cares? I’m treating this as more of an open journal than a blog. A place where I can talk about things on my mind, and maybe, just maybe, someone reads it and if helped bye it, or is projected to discuss it further. Either outcome is considered a win for me. This isn’t a political blog, a religious blog, a social blog, this is an everything blog.