Vapor

          Few things impact me significantly. I’m the kind of person that needs proof, reruns, repeats, and explanations. I say that, because I found a video/meditation a couple of years ago that set into motion a series of events, questions, and explorations into my own faith that would forever change the way I view life, and my walk with Christ.

          First of all, life is beautiful…

                                               

                                    “Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every ‘superstar,’ every ‘supreme leader,’ every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.”

                                                                                                                              -Carl Sagan

            When I sit down with myself and really ponder and contemplate my place in the world, and the world’s place in the universe, I am humbled to the point where words become inadequate when trying to convey how I feel. I am nothing. I am dust. I am a vapor.

            Life is a vapor. My life is a vapor, among other vapors, among even more vapors, all forming a single drop, swallowed by a sea of grace and forgiveness. I am so guilty of living my life in a way that puts myself first. What makes me happy? How can that benefit me? What can they do for me? We are so consumed with trying to make ourselves the best little idea of what we think it means to be successful, that we fail to take time to appreciate this beautiful life that we have all been given.

            We worry SO MUCH. When is that paper due? Did I study enough? Will I get the job? Does she like me? Will she say yes? What do they think of me? Do I look bad? When is the new one coming out? Why do these things keep happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? While these are not bad questions in and of themselves, they become consuming. The stresses that accompany each question piles onto our souls until we just cannot take anymore and break down. We establish goals for ourselves, and then block out everything not directly connected to those goals. While we may indeed be working toward something that is good, the process by which we work to achieve that goal is detrimental to ourselves more times that not.

           

            We physically, emotionally, and spiritually cannot sustain long levels of worrying. We must take a break. We must take a break, a breath, and a look at the world around us. Yes, that thing that you have to do may be important, but it is simply a single thing in a sea of other things that we worry about. Accomplishment may bring temporary happiness and a sense of accomplishment, but then its just back into the cycle we go. We go back to worrying.

            My first few semesters at Lee were easily some of the most stressful months of my life. Albeit, I brought much of that stress upon myself in the form of relationships and people that I knew deep down were unhealthy and unsatisfying, the stress and pain I felt was still very real and very hurtful. I discovered something, however, that I only then realized I had previously flirted with in my previous days working at the stress capital that is Wal-Mart. I learned to pause. Whatever I had going on, whether it be a test, homework, job, relationship, event, or anything else, I learned to pause and reflect. Reflecting, for me, was not meditation or prayer in the stereotypical sense, but it was me taking the time to stop and gaze in wonder at the world around me that God had given me to enjoy. Beginning at my time at Wal-Mart, I would go up to a nearby mountain in the morning, find a good sport clear of trees, and watch the sunrise. I did not sit there on my phone and just waiting until the sky was pretty in order to take a picture, I would look up the times of the literal sunrise, and fix my gaze on the horizon and watch the sun actually break the edge of the horizon and warm the earth with its light. The first time I saw that, I could not help but be in sheer awe of the God who hung that fiery ball on a string in the cosmos. It was breath taking.

           

            I would take that experience and repeat it in many forms. I would go on spontaneous road trips to places I had never been. I would pick up hitchhikers and listen to their stories. I would sit on the banks of a rushing Ocoee River. I would hike up mountain tops to get a God-view of the world I lived in. I would look at mountain ranges and hills and imagine God creating them like a child creates things in the sand by running their fingers around creating little ridges and mountain ranges. Those moments answered a question I had unknowingly been wrestling with for years: “Is God real? And if so, how can it be proved.”

                 

                  My point is, we need to really think about what things in our life warrant the amount of worrying we do over them. The health of loved ones? Yeah, that might be something we can worry about. Losing our job? For a time, yes, we can worry about that. We must remember, though, that our life is a vapor. Atheist, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, we’re all going to die. We can all agree that life is short and that we should live every day to the fullest. So while we plaster our social media profiles with quotes about making the most of every moment, and tattooing Carpe Diem onto our bodies, we rarely live in the way we were designed. We were not designed to focus on one thing our whole life, achieve it, then die and hope our kids will do better than use. We were designed to live a full and abundant life in Christ, and to do whatever it takes to make sure those around us experience the same love and grace that we, as Christians, claim to be experiencing for ourselves.

            "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

                                    -Matthew 11:28

                 

                  Jesus told us to come to him in our time of worry and stress. If Jesus tells you to do something, it sort of sounds like a commandment, right? So if Jesus commands us to come to him in our time of worry, shouldn’t we be sprinting to him? Worry and stress are inevitable, but our response should be Biblical. Although this idea can be abused and used to justify been unfaithful to obligations, we should do more to pause in our busy life and reflect. Reflecting may not be prayer for some people, it may not be meditation, or road road trips. Beneficial reflection is unique to each person, but we should all take time to open our eyes and look around us at this big and amazing world we have been given. The sky, the grass, the city, the country, the music, the food, the people, their stories, its all part of life, and arguably more important and beneficial than whatever we busy ourselves with on a day to day basis.

            Take a break. Take a breath. Open your eyes. Look around. Life passes us by at speeds we do not comprehend until we are on death’s door and realize it when its too late to do anything about it.